Saturday, June 24, 2006

Top 10 Reasons Why House Church is Better Than Traditional Church

In line with the mission's desire that we work with simple, house churches, I've compiled my own "top 10 list" on the advantages of house churches:

10. You can watch the world cup at church without a projector and big screen.
9. No obligation to wear panty hose or high heels - instead, on cold nights you can wear your fuzzy bunny slippers to church!
8. No pews.
7. No requirement that you use the same Sunday School literature that you've used for the last 30 years.
6. No 30 minute "dominate the mike" announcement time - or if so, at least it's participatory!
5. No fights over carpet color in the sanctuary - after all, who's going to criticize your living room floor?
4. No special baptism committee - after all, how hard is it to fill up the bathtub?
3. You don't have to worry about whether the roast in the oven at home will burn before you get home from church - you are home!
2. Nobody minds if you change a dirty diaper in the "sanctuary" during the middle of the service.
1. Bigger portions of juice and bread during the Lord's Supper.


Dianna said...

I'm actually disturbed that your top ten included not having to wear panty hose and heels...Is that your normal attire to church? Did you wear that at Springdale?

GuyMuse said...

11. You can always count on at least refreshments after every meeting--sometimes even a full meal, especially if they know the missionary will be visiting that day!

Dave said...

Great stuff Jeff. I'll be sending that out to some others I know that will also get a kick out of it.

jeanie! said...

Hi, Jeff! I couldn't agree with you more. I was a member of a marketplace lunchtime Bible Study and prayer group for more than twenty-five years. Women (yes, women!!! they actually do have souls, you know!!) of various denominations came together (another miracle!!!) with no appointed leader except the Holy Spirit. We always let him lead (or at least we tried to). Since there was no official leader, there was no jockeying for leadership position or control. We just had a spirit of unity and we saw prayers awesomely and speedily answered with all glory going to the One who answered!!! We saw children get scholarships, we saw prodigals come back home, we saw people delivered from addictions, we saw pastors openly exonerated before their congregations because an intercessor from that church had her prayer group to pray for him as he was being justly accused of something. We saw dying people accept the Lord during their last few hours. We saw grandmothers provided for, adoptions go through court systems unsnarled of paperwork, etc. A true miracle-working God we had directing us. Because we were all mothers and because we did it on our lunch hour, we never had to hire a babysitter. There was never an offering taken (except our time) because there was no need to pay a staff. We never had a bulletin, a music director (although frequently we sang without musical accompanyment), we especially never had to pay an organist or a pianist to use their gift for the Lord, we never had a fight over who had to keep the nursery, since none was needed. We never had a carpet decision to make; we were in an office. We had ladies bring in their coworkers to be prayed over and we frequently saw them healed of physical and emotional problems. We never even had to bring a covered dish, although one time we did take communion together using pound cake and lemonade when we celebrated a birthday of one of our ladies. Since we met in the State Capitol Building, we prayed for our legislators: that all would have the opportunity to have the Gospel presented to them, and God sent Billy Graham who did just that!!! That was, of course, exceedingly abundantly above all that we could have asked or thought! We never went back to work worn out because the Lord did his work and refreshed us in the process. Ah, to be delivered from church as we have encumbered it with our exhausting traditions of man. Ah, to remember that we are the church and a building is a building is a building and a system is a system is a system. I even saw my own daughter marry the right fellow, and I am so grateful to have you as my son in law!!!

Jeff Dunson said...

Ok, ok, uncle!

I've had several comments about the panty hose and heels comment. My original version referred to wearing a tie, but I decided to go with the shoe theme (I was really trying to slide in the fuzzy bunny slippers bit and trying to be thematic). Also, I was trying to be sensitive to my female readers and use a female-friendly illustration!
In answer to your question Dianna, no to the best of my memory, I never wore panty hose or heels to church (unless you count cowboy boots, which I wore a good bit - but without hose). For that matter, I've never worn hose anywhere:) Thanks everyone, for reminding me that you do read carefully!!!